Supporting Others
Difficult or sad events happen to all of us at some point in our lives. For most people, it helps to know that their family and friends are there to support them when life gets tough - but it is often difficult to know how best to support someone in need.
You may want to comfort someone but you don’t know how. You may not know what to say or
what you can do to help. Many people feel like this, even if they’re used to dealing with difficult
issues in their work lives or in other circumstances. It’s very different when it’s a personal situation.
The most important thing to realise is that there is no one phrase or approach that is the ’right’ thing to say or do in all circumstances and for all situations. Just offering to be there for that person is what matters most.
If you want to help but don’t know what to do first, here are some suggestions:
- Offer to help. It’s important to first find out whether or not your help is needed and also exactly what is wanted. Be specific, so rather than saying, ‘Let me know if there’s anything I can do.’ you may want to ask, ‘Shall I do the shopping?’
- Get the facts. If they have been diagnosed with an illness, you may be able to better support them by finding out more information about their condition together. They may also ask you to go with them to medical appointments to help with any questions they have for the doctor.
- Just give your time. Sometimes just being with a person when they are feeling vulnerable can help. Just having someone there can make them feel less lonely or afraid. Even a short visit on a regular basis will be something they can look forward to.
- Seek support. Where appropriate encourage the person to seek professional support. Usually their doctor is a good first step or perhaps through an Employee Assistance Programme if their employer offers one.
- Find the right balance. Supporting a person can be very rewarding however it can also be tiring and sometimes upsetting. Set a limit on the amount of time you spend with the person, rest if you’re tired and give yourself time out to do what you want to do.
